Cabernett Report
Dom Pérignon has announced a limited edition inspired by the untapped creative brilliance of Upper East Side private school children.
It all started innocently enough: parents strolling through the wine aisle while their kids, magnetically drawn to anything cute, spotted Hello Kitty Pinot Noir.
Not content with being dragged into a $15 million libel lawsuit, Variety has gone on the offensive, countersuing Coppola Wines for the “emotional and palate pain” allegedly caused by the wine brand’s lackluster vintages.
Here’s to Gen Z’s daring new approach to partying and personal well-being. Who needs Malbec when you can have some smack?
In a move that is either the pinnacle of luxury or the ultimate in modern escapism, New Zealand’s Cloudy Bay has launched its *Summer Fridays AI Assistant*. This game-changing chatbot promises to craft the most convincing out-of-office email replies ever conceived, allowing you to bask in the sun with a glass of their famed Sauvignon Blanc.
CEO Rodrigo Maza commented, “James has been an outstanding contributor, but ultimately, he couldn’t handle the full-frontal transparency that comes with our unique work environment. We respect his need for a more traditionally attired office space.”
