Dom Pérignon & Doodles from the Upper East Side’s Future Artists

In a bold move that’s sure to challenge the art world as much as it will challenge anyone trying to decipher what’s actually on the bottle, Dom Pérignon has announced a limited edition inspired by the untapped creative brilliance of Upper East Side private school children. These are the same kids who, encouraged by their personal art tutors, have elevated “doodling while Mom sips Dom all day” to a bona fide movement.

The latest 2015 Dom Pérignon Brut now proudly features the artistic prowess of 7-year-old Aiden, whose abstract representation of "My Dog, But Cooler" is scrawled across the label in a mishmash of red Crayola and finger paint. The Champagne house describes the new series as “a reflection of our commitment to nurture raw, unfiltered creativity,” much like the unfiltered conversations overheard at elite school pickup lines.

Each bottle dons vibrant, erratic strokes—courtesy of the best private art programs—and captures that frenetic energy only experienced after Mom’s third flute of Dom at Equinox's post-morning yoga "Brunch & Bubbles" hour. From interpretations of Picasso-esque cubism to some bold takes on “whatever that squiggle means”, the bottles serve as both a conversation starter and an excuse for Mom to top off her glass.  Dads too.  

The Ultimate Assemblage: The Whole Refrigerator Door Collection

Similar to Dom Pérignon’s Basquiat release, this collection is spread across multiple “coffrets” (or as the kids call them, “family fridge displays”). When assembled, the boxes recreate that quintessential Upper East Side family kitchen look: a cluttered refrigerator plastered with masterpieces that beg the question, "What is that?"  All this difficulty in the art has made Cy Twombley fans esctatic.  

Dom Pérignon insists that much like blending fine Champagne, the juxtaposition of untamed scribbles with bursts of inexplicable handprints “creates a tension that invites contemplation—after enough Dom P., of course.” The house’s shield symbol remains proudly displayed, perhaps to protect the viewer from the accidental Eataly gluten-free elbow macaroni stuck to the bottle’s edge.

Just Eight “Collector’s Lunchboxes” Available Worldwide

For the discerning art-and-Dom connoisseur, the brand has also revealed a unique “Collector’s Lunchbox” edition, with only eight available worldwide. Each box contains a bespoke bottle featuring one lucky kid’s groundbreaking take on “Shapes That Don’t Fit in the Lines,” framed in glitter glue for added luxury.

“These children truly embody the avant-garde spirit of Dom Pérignon. Their work represents not just the future of art, but the future of ‘Mom needs another glass,’” the brand claimed.

SRP for the limited-edition doodle coffrets? A cool $500. But can you really put a price on both Champagne excellence and Grayson's genius?

Disclaimer:  The content of this blog post is intended for satire and entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real-life trends, products, or behaviors is purely coincidental. The mention of heroin in this context is a satirical exaggeration and should not be interpreted as a reflection of actual trends or practices. Please do not take any part of this post seriously or as advice.