The 10 Craziest Things We’ve Heard at the Wine Shop

There is this perception that running a wine shop is usually a sophisticated affair involving tasting notes and terroir. However, every so often, a customer leaves us absolutely speechless.

From time travelers to philosophical queries about glass bottles, here are the top 10 craziest things we’ve heard since we opened our doors.

1. "What vintage of Michael David Freakshow Zinfandel do you have?"

The Backstory: This is the ultimate "gotcha" question. While asking for a vintage usually makes you sound like a connoisseur, in this case, it’s actually a bit of a giveaway that you don't know the brand. Why it’s crazy: Michael David’s Freakshow line is a massive production success. They are "formulated" wines, meaning the winemakers blend different lots and use specific cellar techniques to ensure the wine tastes exactly the same every single year. Whether it’s a 2019 or a 2022, the flavor profile is engineered for total consistency. Asking for the vintage is like asking which year your Diet Mountain Dew was produced—the goal is for you to never taste a difference.

2. "Do you have Bogle Merlot 2012?" (Asked in the year 2025)

The Backstory: Bogle is a fantastic, reliable daily drinker. But wine isn’t immortal. Why it’s crazy: Most "value" wines like Bogle are meant to be consumed within 1-2 years of release. By 2025, a 2012 Bogle Merlot hasn't "aged"—it has died. It would likely taste like wet cardboard and sour vinegar. Searching for it in a retail shop 13 years late is like looking for a fresh loaf of bread from the previous decade.

3. "I never got my order. Wait, let me ask my husband... I am sorry, he just said he received something heavy and put it in the garage. Sorry."

The Backstory: We spent forty minutes on the phone with FedEx and our warehouse tracking a "lost" shipment, only to find it was a victim of domestic miscommunication. Why it’s crazy: A case of wine weighs about 40 pounds. It’s hard to miss. To the husband, it was just "something heavy." To us, it was a localized emergency!

4. "I had this wine in Portugal. Do you have it?"

The Backstory: We love that you traveled! We really do. But Portugal has over 250 native grape varieties and thousands of tiny family wineries. Why it’s crazy: Without a photo, a name, or even the name of the region, this is the retail equivalent of walking into a library and saying, "I read a blue book once, do you have it?"

5. "I swear I was home and the FedEx driver never rang the doorbell. This is after the third attempt, too."

The Backstory: By law, wine requires an adult signature. Drivers don't like carrying heavy boxes back to the truck. Why it’s crazy: After three attempts, the odds that the driver "ninja-walked" to your door and didn't ring the bell every single time are slim. Usually, this means the customer was in the backyard, had headphones on, or was taking a very deep nap!

6. "Do you ship wine?"

The Backstory: This is usually asked while the customer is standing next to a stack of shipping boxes, under a sign that says "WE SHIP NATIONWIDE," or while they are on our website peering at our shipping zone chart. Why it’s crazy: Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see. Yes, we are a wine shop and shipping wine is a service that we offer. 

7. "Do you only sell an empty glass bottle or does the bottle contain wine as well?"

The Backstory: A customer once asked if the wine was included in the glass bottle listed on our website.  Why it’s crazy: We are a wine shop, not a hobby craft store. If we were selling empty $20 glass bottles, we’d be in the wrong business. Yes, the fermented grape juice is included!

8. "Please refund the person who bought me this gift card because I can go to the liquor store to buy my wine."

The Backstory: This is the ultimate "anti-gift." Someone went out of their way to buy a thoughtful gift card for a specialty shop, only for the recipient to try and "return" the gesture. Why it’s crazy: Aside from the fact that we can't just refund someone else's credit card on your command, it’s a hilariously blunt way to reject a gift!

9. "Do you have bourbon?"

The Backstory: Our sign says "WINE." Our shop is full of WINE. Our shelves are 100% WINE. Why it’s crazy: People see a bottle-shaped object and assume all alcohol is created equal. We’ve considered putting up a sign that says "Grapes only, no grains," but we're pretty sure they'd still ask for Pappy Van Winkle. The Bourbon boom doesn't help either.  

10. "Do you have free shipping to Hawaii?"

The Backstory: Shipping a heavy box of liquid 2,500 miles across the Pacific Ocean on a plane. Why it’s crazy: Shipping a case to Hawaii can cost as much as the wine itself. If we offered free shipping to the islands, we’d be out of business by lunchtime. We love offering free shipping with a minimum purchase but there a few states where it is just not financially viable.