Variety Countersues Francis Ford Coppola’s Winery for "Wine Wrongs"

Not content with being dragged into a $15 million libel lawsuit, Variety has gone on the offensive, countersuing Coppola Wines for the “emotional and palate pain” allegedly caused by the wine brand’s lackluster vintages. This surprising move comes despite Coppola having sold his winery in 2021 to help fund his passion project, Megalopolis. The countersuit follows Coppola’s libel lawsuit against Variety, which stemmed from a July article accusing the director of inappropriate and unprofessional behavior on the set of Megalopolis. The report claimed Coppola engaged in kissing games with female actors—activities that were not part of the script and allegedly fueled by the 85 year old director's lively libido that shows no signs of slowing down despite his age.  

“While we are confident our reporting was fair and accurate, we’ve been forced to take a stand,” said Variety's legal team, clutching bottles of unopened wine. “The editorial team bravely tasted the "Diamond Collection* and were left reeling, describing it as a wine experience that could only be compared to watching *Godfather III*—disappointing and completely unnecessary.”

Unnamed sources within Variety say that the newsroom has been in chaos ever since. “One editor actually muttered, ‘I'd rather rewatch *Jack* on loop than drink this again,’” shared an insider. “And believe me, that’s a line you just don’t cross.”

Tatiana Siegel, named in Coppola’s lawsuit, added her own bite: “If *Megalopolis* is anything like his current wine collection, we fear it may require a palate cleanse—and a stiff drink.”

Stay tuned as Variety seeks damages for “pain and suffering,” which sources say includes being forced to pretend Coppola's Diamond Claret was drinkable at press events. 

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