Naked Wines’ CFO Flees the Clothes-Free Zone

In a move that has left the wine world buzzing, Naked Wines’ CFO James Crawford has announced his departure, citing an inability to adapt to the company’s nudity policy. Crawford, who rejoined the board in 2022, has decided to step down this autumn, just in time to present the company’s 2024 results fully clothed.

CEO Rodrigo Maza commented, “James has been an outstanding contributor, but ultimately, he couldn’t handle the full-frontal transparency that comes with our unique work environment. We respect his need for a more traditionally attired office space.”

Craig Stillwagon of PNC Business Credit, Naked Wines’ new banking partner, was reportedly “delighted” to support the company, albeit from a safe distance where pants are mandatory.

Rowan Gormley, non-executive chairman, praised Crawford’s leadership, stating, “James has navigated us through some truly challenging times. While his contributions were valuable, we understand his yearning for a place where casual Fridays don’t mean casual every day.”

Crawford, expressing mixed feelings about his departure, said, “I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve achieved. We’ve weathered significant challenges and created a resilient organization. However, I’ve realized that my personal comfort level includes a consistent use of pants.”

In recent months, Naked Wines has faced significant financial challenges, with freefalling sales and declining revenues. Crawford’s departure is seen as a move towards more conventional pastures, where the corporate dress code is less liberating but more familiar.

As he prepares to transition out of his role, Crawford leaves behind a company poised for recovery, albeit with fewer bare necessities in its future.